Jobs
Jobs in the Lower East Side
Hey, you don't have to do anything once you get here. But a lot of us get a little edgy after the first couple of decades, and look for something to keep us occupied. Browse these guys and see if anything interests you. You don't need a resume, an interview, or anything. All you've gotta do is think "I wanna be a ________" and it happens.
Gardener
Sorry. You can garden all you want, but there is ONLY ONE Gardener. He's everyplace all the time, and he looks different to everybody... different ethnicity, different race, different gender, different species...
Guardian Angel (GA)
This one is an all time favorite. It used to be pretty open until Teddy's screw up with the skydiver, but now you have to go through a series of steps, beginning with spiders. Remember this is the Lower East Side. No wings... you're infantry not air force.
Happy Jackie (HJ)
A Happy Jackie (or Jack) is one of the best jobs in the Lower East Side, maybe even all of Uptown, too. You get assigned to somebody in the the Trench on their last day. Your job is to do whatever it takes to make it a happy one, then, you bring 'em on up. A lot of Siders moonlight has HJs 'cos it makes 'em feel really good.
Last Chance Charlie (LCC)
A Last Chance Charlie (or Charlene) has a really important gig. When somebody in the Trench is nearing their last day and it looks like they're headed for the Other Place, an LCC can go down and try to steer them into that one redeeming value or act that can bring them to the Lower East Side. Unfortunately, Free Will is stronger than Faith in most parts of the Trench so the LCC's success rates aren't phenomenally high.
Messenger
Messengers are peeps and critters up here who pass along orders from BG. Like a bunch of other things up here, Messengers came about because of one of Teddy's screw-ups. BG used to just drop ideas in our heads, you know, clean and simple. Then Teddy started thinkin' that these were his own ideas. Hah! Now, we have a formal process.
Lots of different Messengers up here but the two most popular are Mangy Yellow Cats and bicycle Messengers. Basic thing is that Mangy Yellow Cats require a certain attitude and bicycle Messengers require Spandex™ encased glutes. For some reason Teddy thinks that the Mangy Yellow Cat living on top of his refrigerator is the only Mangy Yellow Cat around. ---- "Sheesh!" said the Cat.
